I am so sick of THE DAVINCI CODE.

Not the phenomenally interesting and exciting book itself, which I read and loved.

Not the boring movie, which I hated. HATED. REALLY, REALLY HATED. Ron Howard, if you’re reading this—you owe me a refund.

I’m sick of the hype.

I cannot purchase a book in any bookstore without first wading through the DVC section, which includes the hardcover book, the illustrated hardcover book, the trade-sized book, the paperback book, the book companions, the knock-off books, and the Biblical reference books.

I cannot buy toilet paper in Target without passing the DVC display.

I cannot watch the TODAY SHOW without enduring a segment (or twenty) about the latest DVC reviews and box office statistics.

I cannot watch the HISTORY channel without suffering through a show about the quest for the Holy Grail and/or the Knights Templar and/or the real Mary Magdalene.

I cannot read the NEW YORK TIMES’ Book Review without counting DVC and three other Dan Brown books in the top fifteen. That’s right. As of today, Dan Brown has FOUR books at the top of the paperback chart.

And that’s why I can forgive Brown for unleashing DVC mania on civilized society for the past several years.

He rocks.

Seriously.

Think about it. DVC has been on the NYT list for 164 weeks. I’ll do the math for you: that’s over three years. It’s sold 40 million copies in hardcover. The paperback print run is six million. MILLION. The biggest print run I’ve heard of for a (non-Nora) romance novel is half a million. There’s no telling how many more millions of his other books—yes, he does have other books—have sold.

If commercial success is what you’re after as a writer—and let’s face it, every writer wants a little commercial success, and any writer who says she doesn’t is a big fat liar—then Brown is the gold standard. He took a startling idea, researched it to death, and wrote an exciting, fascinating book about it. For that, I salute him.

Is there anyone in America who hasn’t heard of the book? Is there anyone out there who doesn’t know what the book is about? Anyone who doesn’t recognize the cover of the book? Anyone who doesn’t know someone who’s read the book?

I don’t think so.

How many other writers can say that? (J.K. Rowling, put your hand down. I’m not talking to you.)

I’m going to keep grumbling about DVC hype for the foreseeable future, and the next time Matt Lauer mentions it, I’m going to change the channel. But I just want to go on record and say that the next time I turn my nose up at a DVC display, I’ll be secretly remembering Dan Brown’s 40 million plus books sold and wishing I could be a little like him when I grown up.