We have a visitor today. Friend and sorority sister LaConnie Taylor-Jones is dropping by to talk about one of the themes from her latest novel, When a Man Loves a Woman: betrayal. At the end of the day, she’ll give two copies away to lucky commenters.
Thanks for stopping by, LaConnie! Here she comes …
What’s the first thing you think of when you hear the word betrayal?
No doubt most people associate the term with infidelity, which is my heroine’s conflict in my latest release, When a Man Loves a Woman.
The issue of betrayal came front a center for me a few weeks ago when MSNBC re-ran their Headliners and Legends segment, which featured Susan Smith. Everyone remembers the twenty-three year-old, South Carolina mother who betrayed an entire nation for nine days before finally confessing to the drowning deaths of her two young sons, right? Well, the first time this piece aired, I viewed it through the eyes of a mother. I felt the full range of emotions betrayal causes: fury, resentfulness, heartbrokenness, numbness, humiliation, and rejection. However, it wasn’t until that night, when I allowed the maternal side of me to rest for a moment, that I began to see betrayal from a much broader perspective.
Think about it for a moment. Whether betrayal results from the unfaithfulness within in a relationship or is triggered by an unfaithful co-worker, or boss, or from the disloyalty of friends, the emotional impact is often severe.
And for every cause, there’s an effect. When betrayal occurs, we become distressed and it prompts an immediate reaction of anger. The person who was betrayed feels repulsed towards the person who committed the act of betrayal. Next, fear comes to the forefront because the probability that the relationship will be lost is quite high.
Also, betrayal forfeits trust. Trust is the foundation of any relationship, and once it’s been fractured, it becomes difficult for the person who was betrayed to trust, again. Finally, justice is more often than not, sought by the person who’s been betrayed. Every now and then you just want to give the person who betrayed you a good beat down or as I occasionally refer to it as justifiable revenge.
However, that night, at the end of the Susan Smith broadcast, I think I was more hurt by her betrayal to the world than if someone had come along and whacked me up side the head with a bat.
Am I crazy here, folks? Can an act of betrayal hurt as much, if not more, than a physical injury?
Until next time – stay well and be blessed,
LaConnie
About the Author
LaConnie Taylor-Jones, is a health educator consultant and holds advanced degrees in community public health and business administration. She has been an active member of the San Francisco Area Chapter of RWA since 2003 and received the Romance Slam Jam 2008 Emma Award for her debut multicultural contemporary romance, When I’m With You. When a Man Loves a Woman is her second novel and she’s hard at work on her next novel due to be released Spring 2009. Married, she is the mother of four and resides with her family in Northern California.
To learn more about ‘ When a Man Loves a Woman’ and LaConnie Taylor-Jones, visit her online at www.laconnietaylorjones.com
To join the Virtual Book Tour visit her blog at www.laconnietaylorjones.blogspot.com or visit TheGRITS.com Virtual Book Tour site - http://thegrits.com/virtualbooktour/?cat=105 – for more information!
When a Man Loves a Woman
LaConnie Taylor-Jones
Genesis Press, 2008
$6.99 US; ISBN: 1585712744
Hi Soror:
Appreciate you allowing me to hang out at your home today!!
Many thanks for the love, support, but most of all, the Sisterhood
Much love,
by LaConnie August 11th, 2008 at 7:11 amLaConnie
Great interview Ann & LaConnie. Most definitely betrayal can hurt just as much as a physical injury. The human body has the amazing ability to heal certain injuries and pain is forgotten. Is one ever truly healed from betrayal? I don’t think so, especially if the act is committed by someone close to your heart?
by Victoria Wells August 11th, 2008 at 7:48 amGreat post! Betrayal is always a rich theme to explore in a novel because unfortunately many of us can relate to real life betrayals, big and small. I like the Susan Smith analogy. I loved the way you handled the theme in When a Man Loves s Woman . And I can’t wait for you to visit my blog on your tour tomorrow.
Have a great day, sorors!
YID,
Gwyneth
by Gwyneth Bolton August 11th, 2008 at 8:02 amHi Victoria:
You asked: “Is one ever truly healed from betrayal? I don’t think so, especially if the act is committed by someone close to your heart?”
Good questions!!
Perhaps this is where the art of forgiveness comes in??
by LaConnie August 11th, 2008 at 8:11 amSoror Gwyneth:
Thanks so much for popping over and I can’t wait to hang out with you, too!!
Yep, I agree, betrayal can be a “B.”
YID
by LaConnie August 11th, 2008 at 8:15 amThanks for visiting, LaConnie!
Nice to “see” you, Gwen and Victoria.
LaConnie, we didn’t know how timely this post would be, did we? John and Elizabeth Edwards, anyone? I’ve been thinking about them all weekend…
by ann August 11th, 2008 at 8:33 amHi Ann:
Baby Girl, ‘timely’ is right!!
My heart goes out to both of them. It’s bad enough that it happened, but then to have all of America know as well is a totally different monster.
This is the time they hopefully will let the healing process of forgiveness be their guide.
by LaConnie August 11th, 2008 at 8:44 amHey LaConnie,
Great post.
Physical wounds heal, with maybe a scar or other physical reminder. Emotions stay with us always, even if they’re tucked away into a neat little compartment of our brains.
by Bettye Griffin August 11th, 2008 at 8:44 am[...] A Love For All Times Virtual Book Tour is back on the information highway this week and we’re headed for AnnChristopher.com! That’s right, LaConnie is stopping by friend and sorority sister Ann Christopher’s blog to talk about - betrayal - one of the themes from her latest novel, When a Man Loves a Woman. At the end of the day, she’ll give two copies away to lucky commenters. [...]
by LaConnie Taylor-Jones talks about Betrayal | Virtual Book Tour :: TheGRITS.com August 11th, 2008 at 8:53 amBetrayal comes in meny forms. A parent not beleaving a child at a time when all adults were right and all children not.
by Pat August 11th, 2008 at 8:56 am~ Bettye: Hello my friend
Thanks for coming over. You’re right, our emotions can be tough to turn on and off in life.
~ Pat: Aaah, you bring up a great point about how betrayal comes in different forms. Your statement just goes to show how very careful we need to be with our children!!
~ Marlive: Many thanks for everything you’ve done. ((((((HUGS!!!)))))
Gotta run and register the monsters for school
I’ll check back in later.
by LaConnie August 11th, 2008 at 9:10 amHey LaConnie & Ann,
I think I’am the most forgiving person I know. But hurts are very hard to forget. Especially a DEEP hurt like betrayal.
So although I believe forgiveness is possible, trusting again and forgetting are not as easy.
Good blogging subject!
by Janice August 11th, 2008 at 9:11 amAnn ~ I feel you on Elizabeth and John Edwards. That is just heartbreaking and I feel a little betrayed myself. I really liked Edwards and thought he stood for something. I was willing to forgive him the $400 hair cuts while he championed the poor. But now that I know his $400 hair cuts were to woo the ladies while his wife fought cancer, I just don’t know… Seriously, are the only stand-up men works of fiction in romance novels… Sorry to rant…. but man!
Gwyneth
by Gwyneth Bolton August 11th, 2008 at 9:59 amGood topic, LaConnie! And espcially putting the parent/child spin on it.
I’m glad we’re gonna get to hang out in Little Rock in October at Pyramid’s 20th anniversary.
Evelyn
by Evelyn August 11th, 2008 at 10:22 amGwyneth said…I just don’t know… Seriously, are the only stand-up men works of fiction in romance novels…
Even though I know some HONEST, loving men who are in their marriages, commited relationships for the long haul. I sometime feel the same way.
by Janice August 11th, 2008 at 10:27 amOn Susan Smith…
I was just about to fix my childrens dinner plates when the breaking news came on. I dropped the plate I was holding and had to sit down because my knees went weak.
In the back of my mind I knew a black man could not have jacked a car with two white kids in that *White* southern town, and never seen again!
I wanted to beat her azz myself!
by Janice August 11th, 2008 at 10:34 amSusan Smith–she’s in a whole ‘nother category, IMHO. I can’t even speak on what she did–to those precious children and to the country.
I’m just thinking of Elizabeth Edwards–of all the things for her to have to deal with at this time in her life.
Ai, yi, yi…
by ann August 11th, 2008 at 12:11 pmJanice,
by Victoria Wells August 11th, 2008 at 12:42 pmI thought the same thing about a black man jacking a car with two white babies. I love our black men. God knows I do. But let’s get real, some of our men (not all of them) don’t want their own children. What in the world was that man going to do with two white children? Other than sell them on the black market for some cash! Yeah, I wanted to beat her azz, too!
Hello All -
Shattered, furious, broken, numb, and humiliated….are some of the feeling we get when feeling betrayed.
What a wonderful post on betrayal; LaConnie asked “Can an act of betrayal hurt as much, if not more, than a physical injury”?
I happen to believe it can “betrayal” doesn’t live in the body it resides in our emotional/mental and spiritual realm. A place where all of our soft emotions reside and that is some painful personal stuff.
Ann thanks so much for “Sweeter Than Revenge” !!!
by Missy August 11th, 2008 at 1:10 pmGreetings,
Ann, thank you so much for hosting our virtual book tour today. Your blog and website are wonderful and I’ve enjoyed everyone’s comments so far too!!
LaConnie, you ask “Can an act of betrayal hurt as much, if not more, than a physical injury”? That is a very good question and like Missy, I believe it can! A physical injury will heal over time and depending on the injury will not leave a scar or any evidence that an injury ever occurred. But as Missy stated
“betrayal” resides much deeper . . . beyond the surface; it is where “our soft emotions reside” and when that area get cut and bleeds, healing can come quickly or take a very long time for some and/or not take place at all.
Great question and dialogue!
by Marlive August 11th, 2008 at 1:47 pmPat and Victoria Wells, I’ve randomly chosen you to win copies of LaConnie’s book! Yay! Please e-mail your addresses to her via her site. Here’s a link:
http://www.laconnietaylorjones.com/contact.htm
Thanks, everyone, for stopping by!
by ann August 11th, 2008 at 7:31 pmVery powerful post. Betrayal is definitely painful, but it makes for the type of angst I love in stories.
by Farrah Rochon August 11th, 2008 at 8:02 pmOMG, y’all blew up cyberspace while I was gone!!
~ Janice: glad you joined us, Sis. Yes, trusting and forgetting can be real tough. And on Susan Smith, I thought the same thing. Heck, we gotta run brothers down to take care of their own kids most of the time.
~Gwyneth: G’on head and rant, Soror. I didn’t know until the crap hit the fan that Johnnie Boy paid $400 for a haircut. I really feel sorry for his wife especially with all she’s going through.
~ Evelyn: Glad you got a chance to join the discussion. I’m with you-can’t wait to hang out in Little Rock!!
~Ann: As a mother, I pray I don’t lose my mind to the point that I’d ever consider doing that to my kids!!
~Missy: You hit it between the eyes on our soft emotions. I think that’s probably why an act of betrayal can hurt so much. Thanks for stopping by, Sis!!
~ Farrah: Thanks Sweets for popping in and glad you enjoyed the post.
And congratulations to our winners, Pat and Victoria. Hit me off-line, please.
Well all, it’s been a blast. Again, many thanks to each of you for making this tour stop so special.
Much love!!!
by LaConnie August 11th, 2008 at 10:37 pmGreat post LaConnie. And I agree with you, betrayal is sometimes (most times) worse than a physical injury
by La-Tessa August 12th, 2008 at 9:16 amLaconnie - Great piece for discussion.
Can an act of betrayal hurt as much, if not more, than a physical injury?
Yes I think so.
I’m with the Sistahs of Color Reading Group from LR. I guess I will be seeing you too.
by Claritta August 12th, 2008 at 3:08 pmHi Ann,
Tag you’re it! Visit my blog to see what it’s all about.
Gwyneth
by Gwyneth Bolton August 17th, 2008 at 7:30 am